Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Slotland Player Buys Immortality with $5,000,000 Jackpot


April 1, 2014, London, UK (Press Release) – A recent jackpot winner at Slotland says he will live forever thanks to his $5,000,000 win.  Samuel J., who won the record-breaking jackpot playing Slotland’s Too Good to be True slot game, says he’ll use his incredible win to pay for his body to be frozen for a hundred or so years.

“I don’t care who thinks I’m crazy,” said the winner.  “Maybe I am! But I won this jackpot fair and square and this is what I want to do with it. I’m going to see the future! If it’s good enough for Walt Disney, why not me?!”

Present state-of-the-art cryonics technology can successfully preserve the human body with remarkable integrity.  Jackson says his body will be cryogenically preserved at the Everafter Cryogenics Lab in Palo Alto, California where has left instructions to be woken up when his first great-great-great-great-grandchild is born.

“I’ll leave my wife enough to get by on when I go,” said Jackson, “But this cryogenics stuff is expensive so anyone else that’s expecting to inherit some of my jackpot can just forget it.”

“Haha… I hope no one falls for this,” laughed Slotland’s manager, Michael Hilary.  “It’s so far fetched we figured everyone would realize right away it’s an April Fools joke! For one thing, Slotland’s progressive jackpot is won so often that it usually doesn’t go over $200,000!”

Everything about this story is a joke – except the fact that Slotland’s progressive jackpot, which is tied to most of the one-of-a-kind slot games at the unique casino site, really is won so often that it’s always hit long before it reaches five million. Last month, Johnathon E. won $159,357 playing the Ice Queen slot game on his cell phone. The jackpot is currently just over $85,000.

Slotland has 31 slots and video poker games that aren’t offered anywhere but Slotland. They can all be played on any mobile device but 14 are available in especially enhanced versions for iPhone and Android phones.

View this casino news story on YouTube: http://youtu.be/2qkqL03q_pE

No comments: