April 1, 2014, London, UK (Press Release) – A recent jackpot winner at Slotland says he will live forever thanks to his $5,000,000 win. Samuel J., who won the record-breaking jackpot playing Slotland’s Too Good to be True slot game, says he’ll use his incredible win to pay for his body to be frozen for a hundred or so years.
“I
don’t care who thinks I’m crazy,” said the winner. “Maybe I am! But I won this jackpot fair and
square and this is what I want to do with it. I’m going to see the future! If
it’s good enough for Walt Disney, why not me?!”
Present
state-of-the-art cryonics technology can successfully preserve the human body
with remarkable integrity. Jackson says his body will be cryogenically preserved at
the Everafter Cryogenics Lab in Palo
Alto, California
where has left instructions to be woken up when his first
great-great-great-great-grandchild is born.
“I’ll
leave my wife enough to get by on when I go,” said Jackson, “But this cryogenics stuff is
expensive so anyone else that’s expecting to inherit some of my jackpot can
just forget it.”
“Haha…
I hope no one falls for this,” laughed Slotland’s manager, Michael Hilary. “It’s so far fetched we figured everyone
would realize right away it’s an April Fools joke! For one thing, Slotland’s
progressive jackpot is won so often that it usually doesn’t go over $200,000!”
Everything
about this story is a joke – except the fact that Slotland’s progressive
jackpot, which is tied to most of the one-of-a-kind slot games at the unique
casino site, really is won so often that it’s always hit long before it reaches
five million. Last month, Johnathon E. won $159,357 playing the Ice Queen slot game on his cell phone.
The jackpot is currently just over $85,000.
Slotland
has 31 slots and video poker games that aren’t offered anywhere but Slotland.
They can all be played on any mobile device but 14 are available in especially
enhanced versions for iPhone and Android phones.
View
this casino news story on YouTube: http://youtu.be/2qkqL03q_pE
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